The night of September 29, 2019, we came home in a complete fog after losing our sweet little girl. We couldn’t even speak, much less think straight. I felt like I had taken 10 bottles of Benadryl and didn’t know where I was or what I was doing. I received a text from a woman that I knew from religious education classes at our church. Her name is Kendra and she wanted to bring over a friend of hers to meet us and help us through what would be the most painful test of our faith we would ever experience in our lives. I wasn’t sure, at first, if I was ready to meet new people but thought if I don’t leave the door open for new people to come into our lives, we may miss out on a possible source of healing. Oh boy, was I right! Kendra brought over Esther! She was a nun for 12 years in France and decided to leave the convent to work with mothers/parents who’ve lost children (both born and unborn). She is the “caretaker” of a house where people can go pray, meditate, and/or fellowship after the loss of a child. Her house is called the Loretto House https://vidiaquam.org/loreto-house/ . Esther walked with us through this journey and has pointed out Allie’s significance through signs that God gave to us. Esther pointed to God every step of the way and God was, no doubt, with us throughout all of our sorrow and grief. He is still with us and Esther is still pointing out things to us that are significant: things like Lana Vawser’s blog about people’s realignment of thinking starting from the date that Allie passed which (not a coincidence) aligns with the Jewish New Year Rash Hashana. I also love that I received a bracelet from a friend after Allie passed that read “Esther 4:14 Perhaps this is the moment for which you have been created”. Allie’s life was no doubt purposeful, as much as we struggle internally every day with our loss. We know that Allie is our super hero and our saint.
Now, leading into 2020, we’ve received a NEW message of HOPE, HEALING, and even possible JOY. I’m faithful that God has this plan for us. In today’s Lana Vawser blog (I love how God speaks to her), she says that God told her this….
“The enemy has been trying to knock you out in every way from being “established” in all God has for you, but these attempts are breaking off in the impartation God is releasing and not only will you be established in the promises of God and new territory and not removed (Amos 9:15) you will move forward commissioned by God as an ESTABLISHER. One who is known to decree the Word of God, take the Lord at His Word and not compromise and every where your feet tread, you speak and decree and there will be mighty demonstrations of the establishment of His Rhema Word and in many instances in SUDDEN ACCELERATION and momentum.”
“When the Lord spoke “2020 LIFE BEGINS AGAIN” the depths of those words are deeper than I can even describe. They heralded restoration, they heralded the greatest new beginning that has ever been experienced. They heralded repayment, they heralded a clean slate, they heralded nothing wasted, they heralded a time of joy, a life time ahead, the best days ahead, they heralded opportunity, adventure, they heralded HOPE. Hope of things not remaining as they have been, but completely changing and being completely different but the underlying sense of those words was “JOY”. The Lord is restoring JOY to His daughters. The Lord is bringing restoration in some of the most spectacular ways that has ever been seen. Regrets melted away, disappointment broken off, heaviness removed, grief healed an invitation into a depth LIFE in a way that has not been experienced before. (John 10:10)”
To read the full blog article from Lana Vawser….go to: https://lanavawser.com/2019/10/27/daughters-of-god-the-battle-has-been-fierce-because-you-are-about-to-step-into-a-life-changing-impartation-from-the-spirit-of-god/
I can’t help but hope this pertains to our family as well as all those families out there who have been struck by tragedy. I also can’t help but think that God is intending us to speak up and spread his word, listen to his voice, and hear all that he has in store for us in the coming year. He wants us to be empowered to stand firm in his word against the evil one. Don’t listen to any negativity in your head or in your life because you know God and you know THAT doesn’t come from God! God is loving, faithful, and unconditional with his love for us. He WANTS us to be happy and he WANTS us to thrive even through our tragedy! We MUST keep our eyes focused on his word, his works and on HIM! His promises are so true! I can guarantee you that. He didn’t give us Allie to take her away and devastate us. Quite the opposite…even though we struggle in our healing, he gave Allie to us because he trusted us to bring her up in his way, knowing him so she could help save children from a disastrous world of busy, preoccupied people. He gave us Allie because he KNEW we would be the best parents for her and I am honored to have been given that responsibility to raise that sweet, holy child. As we go about our day today and in the upcoming weeks or months ahead, let’s not forget his promise and stay focused with our eyes on the one who heals.
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